Waffling.

Lately I've been full of false starts.  I wanted to apply for a mentorship program, then I changed my mind. I wanted to start a Kickstarter. Changed my mind.  

I am not fundamentally opposed to a good waffle, but it feels like something else is going on here. Are these new ideas distractions? Ways of procrastinating? Signs that something in my current process isn't working? Or, I suppose, all three? Resistance works in mysterious ways.

This week's reads (Jan 6, 2020)

On technology, ethics, surveillance capitalism:

One small way to get our independence and agency back from exploitative platforms is to build personal websites to share on instead. Of course, it’s a tiny tiny step. But it’s a step to taking back control, and building a web that neither relies upon, nor feeds, the harms of Big Tech.

From It's Time To Get Personal, by Laura Kalbag

My 2019, as a writer

2019 was a weird year. I accomplished a lot of things and then had to sit with that terrible feeling you get when you've finally done a thing and it's just...a thing that you did now.  There's no more fuel in the tank or direction for the ship.  So I've spent the last part of the year just trying to rebuild the fire.

I released a lot of new zines: DIY artist retreat, All My Friends and I Want To Talk About Are Autumn Leaves (in paper form) and I Forget Who I Am.  

I submitted zero poems or stories for publication. 

42 Things That Made My Year (2019)

Growing oyster mushrooms from a kit. 
Making candy from the peel of grapefruits. 
Writing my first RPG after a year of wanting to.
Connecting with my femme peers and getting woo woo and weird at a women's day of empowerment at work.
Drinking good scotch, smoking a cuban and listening to coyotes with Paul. Watching him fall in love a little bit more with Albuquerque.
Everything DrupalCon Seattle: Introducing Dries, judging the Splash Awards, taking a leadership class, walking around in the Seattle rain and eating seafood.

How to read more.

As I worked on my 2019 fave books post, I realized I'm reading way, way more than I was four years ago. I've nearly tripled the number of books I finish in a year, which made me wonder what has changed.  

I now quit books I don't love. This helps in two ways: I don't spend that precious limited reading time on bad books, but I also don't lose reading momentum. Before, even a mediocre book would be so discouraging that it would suck up weeks of bedtime reading as I read a page or two at a time. Life is too short for mediocre books.

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