Do you ever take comfort from the knowledge that someone, somewhere, has done something amazing before?
If I manage not to get caught up in comparisons, it reminds me that unexpected and amazing things are possible. I've been using the Literary Witches Oracle deck every time I sit down to write and each time it's a reminder of women writers who have done hard things. Reminds me that we all take the ordinary material around us and turn it into something miraculous.
I've been reading RPG Design Zine: A How-To Zine about Tabletop Roleplaying Game Design by Nathan D. Paoletta over the last several months. It's short (duh) but each page has some beautifully expressed insights about how and why RPGs work the way they do, and it takes me a while to digest it.
Have you seen Bandersnatch? I liked it--not so different from a story-driven video game, but somehow so different to see a real human playing the part and not a computer-generated one. I came away feeling Ooh go go go let's work on the Twine game! I heard it wasn't great, but I loved it. I loved the agony of making the "right" choice and then the dawning realization that I too have limited choice, if any. I loved the moment where you accidentally confront the literal set and crew of the Netflix show.
On technology and being swindled by the dream:
Inside Tech's Fever Dream, by Ismail Muhammad
Watched:
The Crown, Season 3
Tolkien
Sex Education, Season 2
Poem:
[All night I hear the noise of water sobbing.], by Alejandra Pizarnik
On giving negative feedback:
The Open-Faced Shit Sandwich: Improvements on a Crappy Original by Johnathan Nightingale
On what to wear as a femme public speaker:
Lady Speaker Clothes Crisis, by Heidi Waterhouse
Word nerd stuff:
25 words that are their own opposites
Lately I've been full of false starts. I wanted to apply for a mentorship program, then I changed my mind. I wanted to start a Kickstarter. Changed my mind.
I am not fundamentally opposed to a good waffle, but it feels like something else is going on here. Are these new ideas distractions? Ways of procrastinating? Signs that something in my current process isn't working? Or, I suppose, all three? Resistance works in mysterious ways.
On technology, ethics, surveillance capitalism:
One small way to get our independence and agency back from exploitative platforms is to build personal websites to share on instead. Of course, it’s a tiny tiny step. But it’s a step to taking back control, and building a web that neither relies upon, nor feeds, the harms of Big Tech.
From It's Time To Get Personal, by Laura Kalbag
2019 was a weird year. I accomplished a lot of things and then had to sit with that terrible feeling you get when you've finally done a thing and it's just...a thing that you did now. There's no more fuel in the tank or direction for the ship. So I've spent the last part of the year just trying to rebuild the fire.
I released a lot of new zines: DIY artist retreat, All My Friends and I Want To Talk About Are Autumn Leaves (in paper form) and I Forget Who I Am.
I submitted zero poems or stories for publication.
Here are the articles I read this week. An asterisk* indicates that I'd recommend the read.
Growing oyster mushrooms from a kit.
Making candy from the peel of grapefruits.
Writing my first RPG after a year of wanting to.
Connecting with my femme peers and getting woo woo and weird at a women's day of empowerment at work.
Drinking good scotch, smoking a cuban and listening to coyotes with Paul. Watching him fall in love a little bit more with Albuquerque.
Everything DrupalCon Seattle: Introducing Dries, judging the Splash Awards, taking a leadership class, walking around in the Seattle rain and eating seafood.
