I've noticed a pattern of forgetfulness around writing--I forget how many poems I've written, so when I set out to write 100, I write 104 instead. The bio in my second book of poems said it was my first book of poems. When people ask me what I've been writing, I just flat can't remember. And so the void becomes the story.
I don't like that story, so I'm rewriting it.
I want to write a lot of poetry and I want to write novels. It feels like a problem, a conundrum. The ghost of Malcolm Gladwell (someone pls exorcise me) whispers in one ear about how it takes so much focus to get truly good at something. But that part feels scared, angry, threatening instead of supporting. In the other ear, a friendlier ghost says it all matters. All of it folds in together into the same life; nothing is wasted. That voice feels gentle, loving, supportive. And so....I choose that voice. I don't have a problem; I have an opportunity.
I'm working this month on editing the novel I "wrote" last year (a.k.a vomited out a huge number of semi-related words with no structure or plan). I've learned so much about fiction in the last two weeks and my book is still terrible.
Last year I re-defined this post as: It's my annual holiday to celebrate my badass self, doing the work I want to do.
When I think of my badass self, doing the work I want to do, I think of:
This year I mostly want to talk about writing. I've had a big year in my professional life, but I'm on the downhill slope of a job search and I want to let things settle.
Today is day 100. I know that seems weird, because yesterday was day 98. But this is the end date of the project for everybody else, so I miscounted somewhere.
Not ten minutes ago I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself for having no idea of what to write and WISHING IT WERE OVER ALREADY. I have a lot of thoughts about the whole projects but I will share those tomorrow as an addendum.
Uffda. Remember when I said I would never skip two in a row? I never said I wouldn't skip 5 in a row, so here we are.
Today's selection is a little something I wrote for Mad King Thomas' upcoming performance by telephone, without explanation or further comment.
Waiting, watching the other two.
Nervous and laughing.
Like a second grader.
Today I went to Bob Baker's Marionette Theater.
Other people have detailed the history much more closely than I want to, but the important bits are this:
1) It's been around 50+ years.
2) The building is a historical landmark.
3) They literally just do marionette shows.
Earlier today, I found this great article, 5 Rules for Arts Organization Websites. While everything she said still applies, it was written in 2012. Time for an update!
1) Newsletter sign-up
I decided that I would read 16 books this year (an increase over 12 from last year). I'm at 12 already so I'm feeling like a champ.
I haven't been reviewing them, but that's ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE.
Dance Resource Center (who I am very honored to be working with) holds monthly gatherings for the Los Angeles dance community on the first Thursday of each month, 9-11 am. The group welcomes everybody, and it was one of the first places that made me feel like somebody in this bar godforsaken megalopolis beautiful city knows my name and is happy to see me.
